Surviving Mommy Wars

For those of you who have children, I'm sure you've heard the term "Mommy Wars". For those of you who haven't, in a nut shell, it's moms making each other feel bad about their parenting choices. I'm going on record to say, IT IS NOT OK! I recently had someone approach me about how "appalling" it is that I have formula, Johnson & Johnson's, and Gerber baby food on my monthly favorites list. 

While I do believe breast is best, mom's need to remember that not everyone is blessed with the same privileges and that what works for one might not work for another. Because my parenting choices have been attacked I feel it necessary to share with the world a little something about myself. 

When I was 15 years old I was diagnosed with OCD  (scroll down to Violent Intrusive Thoughts). I know people joke about being "OCD" all the time but, it's a serious mental disorder that affects millions of people around the world. Over the years I've gotten to a place where I am able to control it very well with little intervention. I do take medicine though, and did throughout my pregnancy...*GASP*...I also see a psychiatrist once a year. Most times it's like I don't even have it. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing!

As you probably know, postpartum depression is a very real part of life after baby and having a mental disorder on top of that, well let's just say I couldn't handle breastfeeding. I NEEDED the formula so that Charles and my Mom could help me. So yea it's on MY favorite list. I tried pumping exclusively for a week since Allison was having trouble latching, but I was exhausted. Exhaustion exasperates my OCD. I didn't want anything to do with Allison because I was terrified I was going to hurt her. Even though I can distinguish the types of  thoughts I'm having and can control them, the feelings, the fear, and the anxiety, they are all REAL. It sucks. I honestly didn't enjoy the first month of Allison's life, I was miserable and felt like a horrible mother because I didn't feel that overwhelming love that everyone talks about. 

It's been two years and I don't regret my decision not to breastfeed. After about six weeks I was back to 'my normal' and I was enjoying what I had always wanted, being a mom. Allison is such a blessing and I'm so thankful I was chosen to be her mama. Seriously, this kid is the life of my party! :) Life doesn't always go the way we plan or expect but luckily I have an incredible husband and family that has stood by me through it all. Sure I wish that I didn't have OCD so that I could have hopefully missed out on the postpartum depression and breastfed longer AND enjoyed the first few weeks of being a mom, but that's not the hand I was dealt.  

The point is, you have no idea what goes on behind someone else's four walls, so don't you dare criticize or judge their decisions. It's theirs NOT yours. Stop the mommy wars. Please. They are insulting and degrading. Parenting is already hard enough without the condemnation of other moms and dads. 

With that being said, while formula was one of our favorites, please do your research and make the best informed decision for your family. Just because it worked for us, doesn't mean it will work for you. Whether it be formula or breast milk, cloth or disposable, circumcised or not, vaccinated or not, it's YOUR DECISION!